A Man and His Suit
by WishYouWereBetter
Summary: Who was Tony Stark? Was he really just a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist? Or was he something more?


**Hey guys! So I've been reading Avengers fics for a while now and decided to try one out myself! So I hope you like it, and review if you do (or if you don't, constructive criticism is appreciated, too)! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tony Stark or any of the Avengers.**

* * *

Anthony Edward Stark was a failure.

He had known it since he was a child presenting his first circuit board to his father at age four. His father not impressed by his son's "childish games." Howard Stark was unaffectionate and unloving. He never told Anthony that he loved him or showed any indication that he cared for the boy at all. Anthony learned early on that he shouldn't expect warmth from his father. He grew used to the cutting words and the occasional slap, but he never stopped trying to impress Howard Stark.

When Howard and Maria Stark passed, Anthony Edward Stark told everyone that he'd like to be called Tony Stark, and just Tony Stark. No one knew the reason why Anthony Edward suddenly wanted to be Tony. The truth was, the name brought back countless memories of Howard reprimanding him:

"I don't have time for your petty child's play, Anthony."

"Anthony Edward, you are a disgrace to the Stark name."

"You, Anthony Edward Stark, will never run Stark Industries if I have any choice in the matter."

And the most cutting, "You are my biggest failure, Anthony. Never forget that."

And he didn't.

Tony Stark was successful. He was a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. He was often called narcissistic, but he had earned his acclaimed title of genius. He created the Iron Man suit with scraps of metal in a cave in Afghanistan. It was no secret that he was a billionaire. No woman could deny that Tony Stark was a playboy. And although it was often doubted, when Tony Stark flew a nuclear missile through a portal, sacrificing himself to almost certain death, it was clear that he had earned his title of philanthropist. So what if his ego was bigger than Stark Tower? He had earned the rights to that ego.

So when Steve Rogers gave him that look, Tony Stark saw his father in the hero who challenged him; "Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off and what are you?" If the comment hurt Tony, he wouldn't let it show (and he didn't). He responded without missing a beat, face devoid of any emotion. Because he was Tony Stark, and nobody could hurt him. One stinging comment would not break him down. Anthony Edward Stark was weak, but Tony Stark was indestructible. Tony Stark could handle anything.

* * *

Anthony Edward Stark was worthless, and Howard took every opportunity to remind him of this fact. Anthony despised his father by the time he was five years old. He stopped calling his father 'Dad' by the time he was six. While half of his genes came from Howard Stark, the man had never earned a title as endearing as Dad.

Anthony was provided with every toy that a young boy could ask for. He had everything he had ever asked for. He received every present on his wish list each Christmas, and more on every birthday. But Anthony Edward Stark was missing the one thing that meant anything of value to him; his father's approval. Howard Stark could pay for anything that Anthony could imagine - the man was the closest thing to a walking, breathing ATM. Anthony had racing cars, computers, anything and everything he wanted in the world, at his disposal. All he had to do was say the word, and a nameless face would acquire it for him. Anthony grew up with nameless faces. The one face he didn't grow up with was Howard Stark's. The man came to exactly zero of Anthony's school events, zero of his science fairs and conventions, and zero of his chess games. Howard Stark may have been his biological father, but he was no Dad.

Tony Stark didn't need anybody's approval. He followed orders from one person only, and that was himself. People were unreliable, and Tony Stark knew that he was the only person he could rely on, much less trust. Tony Stark didn't have to try to impress anyone, because everyone was already aware of his success. How could someone be unimpressed by Tony Stark? While the credit was acquitted to Iron Man, when it came down to it, Tony Stark was Iron Man. Without Tony Stark, Iron Man wouldn't exist. Tony Stark brought Iron Man to life. He was the man behind the suit, the man inside the suit; he was the man behind it all.

People often forgot that Iron Man and Tony Stark were one. Many neglected to see Tony Stark - the egotistical rich weapons manufacturer - as an Avenger. What most people tended to forget, was that the Iron Man suit was just that - a suit. Nothing more than pieces of metal and wiring put together by a genius. Oh, yes, the suit was amazing with its advanced technology and capabilities, but it was just a suit. And Tony Stark, not the suit, was Iron Man.

* * *

Anthony Edward Stark was always afraid. On the rare occasions when Howard came home, he was always yelling at Anthony. Howard was almost always drunk and swung at Anthony more than a few times in his stupor. So, Anthony Edward was very afraid of Howard. He was afraid of the bullies that pushed him around at school, because even private schools have bullies, and Anthony was the easiest target.

He was little compared to his peers; a senior in high school by the time he was thirteen. This made him the target of every bully the school knew. He was the little guy, bigger than the others only through his intelligence. One night when Howard came home, he wasn't as drunk as usual. He seemed calm, so Anthony decided to stay while Howard told stories of Captain America, his biggest success. Steve Rogers was the little guy once too, and Howard had made him the strongest man anyone had ever known. Anthony was bursting with hope, and shyly asked Howard, "Could you inject me with the super serum? Then I could be the new Captain America!" He had hoped that Howard would because then no more bullies would pick on him. He didn't like bullies. He didn't notice Howard's face growing redder as he spoke until Howard exploded:

"THERE IS ONLY ONE CAPTAIN AMERICA AND YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM."

Anthony never asked Howard a question again.

Tony Stark was never afraid. Even with his suit off, he was a contender in a fight. With the suit on, he was practically indestructible. He was more intelligent than anyone he knew; who else in the world had made an advanced AI when graduating from MIT at fifteen? No one. And who else had managed to escape from terrorists by building the most amazing suit the world had ever seen? No one. Tony had no reason to be afraid of anything. He had the strength, the intelligence, the money, and the resources to get rid of anything, or anyone, he didn't like.

Once, Steve Rogers told Tony that he didn't know what it was like to be the little guy. He didn't know just how right he was. Tony Stark had never been the little guy, so he ignored Steve. But a voice in Tony had whispered to him, _"Yes you do. You __are__ the little guy, Anthony Edward." _He paused. "You don't know everything about me, Capsicle, so don't act like you do." And then he stormed off, angry with himself for many things. For looking up to Steve Rogers as a child. For not ignoring the voice in his head. For telling Steve a lie. He was Tony Stark, not Anthony Edward Stark. Anthony was a fearful, small, bullied child. Tony Stark was not afraid of anything, and he had no idea what it was like to be the little guy.

* * *

Anthony Edward Stark was in a lesson when a man in a black suit interrupted swiftly. The man, named Agent Coulson, was one that Anthony had seen before with Howard, and Anthony knew that he worked with him. Anthony pondered why the man had asked to see him. The man told him that his parents had been in a car crash. They had been taken to the hospital, but there was nothing the doctors could do. Both of his parents had died that day.

Although it was sad, Anthony could not bring himself to see this as a loss. Maria, while she was a beautiful, kind woman, had never had the time of day for Anthony. She whisked him off to various maids and nannies and housekeepers until he couldn't keep track of who was who and decided to refer to them all as "Ma'am" instead. Despite this, Anthony was still disappointed in the death of his mother. He could not say the same about Howard. Anthony Edward Stark did not lose Howard Stark that day, because he had lost Howard Stark long before.

Tony Stark was not emotional. In fact, many would attest that they had never seen the man smile or cry. Ever. His sarcastic humor often resulted in a smirk, and upsetting him would result in an icy glare, but no true emotion was displayed. Tony Stark was an enigma to all. Some said that Tony Stark put up walls to hide from people. Others said that his indifference was a mask he wore. Tony Stark simply said that emotions were unnecessary. He was Tony Fucking Stark and he was amazing without pesky feelings clouding his judgment.

He didn't need feelings because feelings meant getting attached, and getting attached meant caring. And Tony Stark did not care. Tony Stark didn't give a damn about other people, because all people did was disappoint you (and he knew disappointment very well) and leave (he knew leaving well, too). Tony Stark would tell you that he didn't have a heart, and the world would agree. Tony Stark did not know loss because if you never grow attached, then you never need to.

* * *

After he made the Iron Man suit, Tony Stark was extremely proud. For the first time in his life - as Anthony Edward Stark or just Tony Stark - he didn't have to hide anything. When he was Anthony Edward, he had to hide his weaknesses from Howard. Mistakes, errors, and any fault was a weakness begging to be dissected and examined using harsh words and a tone that could freeze over the Sahara. Although he would deny it, as Tony Stark, he had to hide his emotions. Tony Stark didn't believe in emotions. Happiness and sadness were just distractions that took away from work, and caring for people was out of the question. Tony Stark didn't have time to care for people when he could have been making important discoveries instead. When forced to think about it, he questioned who he really was. When he was Anthony Edward, he was hiding. When he was Tony, he was hiding. It seemed that whoever he was, he always had a mask to cover parts of himself up. Was he Anthony Edward, the failure? Was he Tony Stark, the genius? He often found himself wondering about his identity. But when he made the Iron Man suit, he didn't need to have a mask on anymore. When he was in the suit, he found himself. He wasn't a neglected child prodigy, or a vain billionaire. Because that's what the suit did. In it's own rights, the suit was a mask. He didn't have to pretend to be anything when he was in the Iron Man suit, he just was. He was a sacrificing, clever man who always had a plan. A man who truly cared for what he was doing and the people he was saving. When he was in the Iron Man suit, Anthony Edward "Tony" Stark was finally himself. He was a hero.


End file.
